Happiness

Do you ever get to the point in your life, when you feel like something is missing?

I've come to the conclusion that I could be happier.  

Not only that, but I want to be happier. 

Its starting to hit me, that very soon I will be responsible for a human being, another child of God

and I want to be ready and be the best self I can be before this little baby gets here

because from what I've heard there's not much 'me' time with a baby.

I realize that motherhood isn't all fun and games.

But I want moments like these to be magical more often than not.

A few years ago I came across a talk given by Elder Busche at a BYU Devotional, and yesterday I was reminded of it so I watched it, and I really feel like its an answer to my prayers.

So for the rest of this summer, each week I'm going to focus on one piece of advice from Elder Busche.

So seeing as it is Monday what better day to start.  This week's focus is:

"Embrace this day with an enthusiastic welcome, 

no matter how it looks."

On most days this comes pretty easy for me.  I love going to sleep with my window open

{for one because the fresh cool air is like the best thing ever when you can't sleep when you're pregnant}

But the main reason is that I get to wake up looking at the beautiful rolling hills of Mead, Washington.  

Oh how I love it here.  I love the blue sky, and how the clouds are always beautiful no matter how they look.

I love the wheat fields and the air and the pine trees and just everything. 

But I've come to realize that this probably is referring to more than just the weather - maybe like how you're schedule looks?  I think I could be a lot better at embracing everything in my day, not just the weather. 

So here's to you challenge of the week - I'm ready to go!

I really feel like as I change the lame habits in my life 

{we won't go into any details}

That I will find happiness.  

And that I'll enjoy being alive each day, rather than moping around making it from day to day.  

So that when He comes again, I'll be able to say 'I did my best, I've made it as close to perfect as I can with out you, I'm ready to become perfected in you.'

The Ring Test

Well the test says GIRL my friends... guess we'll just have to wait and see!  

{Disclaimer: I'm really not a superstitious person - it was all in good fun;

mostly to see my adorable husband roll his eyes haha}

Yep that's pretty much all I have to say.  

kluvyoubye

Three Weeks and Two Days

Last week I had another doctor's appointment - I sure love hearing how well our little baby is doing!  Hard to believe its already the size of an avocado and going to double its size in now time! 

W.O.W.

I'm really excited to be able to feel this little one kicking inside of me

Then I don't have to wait til appointments to hear a heart beat and know there's really something in there :) 

AND in just a few short weeks and a couple of days we'll get to see if we're having a boy or a girl!

{Can you tell its killing me?} 

I'm thinking about trying the 'boy/girl' test

{You take both our wedding rings and hand them on a string.  Jeremy drops it in front of my belly and if it swings side to side it's a girl.  If it spins, its a boy.  Yes I know that doesn't really tell you anything, but hey it'd be fun to see!} 

I'm kinda starting to think its going to be a boy.  I've been thinking about boy names a lot lately.  Or maybe I just feel bad that I want a girl and it might in fact be a boy... who knows.

But on our family guessing list, I wrote boy - crazy.  

We'll see lol I just really want to know so that I can start decorating it's little nursery! 

Speaking of nursery, that's our calling in church.  We've had a hard time with the lessons and getting the kids to pay attention.  They've been coloring during the lesson, and its even more hard than normal to get them to sit still.  Not to mention it feels really irreverent to say a prayer when they're all screaming for crayons... yeah...

But yesterday we tried sitting down on the floor.  I'm pretty sure with a few weeks of practice they'll get the hang of it.  Several of them did pay attention for at least a little bit, but I still think they can do better lol 

So that's the gist of our updates - not much else to report.  

{I'll keep you updated on the wedding ring test :) } 

kluvyoubye

Dear Baby

Dear Baby,

I can't believe how fast you're growing!  Its hard to believe that you're already the size of an apple, and that in a few short weeks you'll be the size of a pumpkin laying in my arms.  I have another doctor's apointment tomorrow and I can't wait!  I love hearing the doctor tell me how good you're doing and how strong you're getting.  You really are mine forever :)

Are you going to be a boy or a girl?  It is kinda killing me slowly... I promise I'll love you either way, I just want to know!  I can't wait to start sewing blankets and things for your room (which is going to be really cute btw)! It's kind of hard to explain how much I love you already, but I do.  Your daddy loves you too, and he can't wait til you get bigger and he can feel you kicking :)  He's going to be the best dad ever!

I do have to tell you baby, that I'm a little nervous about you coming.  I'm telling you right up front - I've never been a mom before!  I can't promise you that as parents we're going to do everything right.  I'll just apologize in advance for that.  But I will promise you that you will be loved, and taught about a Heavenly Father who loves you very much.  As far as your temporal needs, we'll do our best. 

Just one little request on our part - could you possibly be one of the perfect little angel babies we hear about from time to time.  The kind that are sleeping through a good portion of the night by 4 months and doesn't cry very much (other wise we're letting you stay with your cousin Clara til you learn, cause she's a little angel!) haha Just kidding. But if you were an easy baby, we sure would love it!  I probably just jinxed myself... shoot.  Oh well.

I love you baby, and I hope your enjoying all these nutrients I'm sending your way - I sure am not.  Also would you mind just inching upward a little bit?  I'm kinda sick of having to pee all the dang time.  I love you so much little one, and I can't wait to hold you in my arms and meet you in just a few more months!

Love,

Mommy

Oh and by the way did I mention my husband is a genius?

So way back in May {May 28th to be exact} 

Jeremy took the Dental Admission Test 

{I'm pretty sure that's what DAT stands for....}

Anyways, he studied for all of May - I like never got to see him :( 

But it payed off because he got a 23 on the DAT!!!

{A little info for you:  The DAT is on a scale of 1 - 30.  But, the highest anyone got last year was a 27.  Most people get an average of a 17 and the average Dental acceptance score is a 19.}

Do the math and Jeremy is in the 99.7 percentile!!!!

yeeeah..... That's my husband!!! :)  

I'm so proud of him, and I know he's going to do great in Dental School and that we're going to be ok.

It is kinda a big deal to let the live of you and your children rest in the hands of a man's academic skills!

But like I said before, Jeremy is a genius - so I'm not worried at all

{FYI I never was... lol}

Jeremy I love you and I'm so proud of you!  I'm so grateful to you for all of your hard work, and your patience with me (esp. the pregnant me).  You are the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm so happy to be sharing this journey called life with YOU!!!

I.love.you.

I'm kinda startin to love this whole photography thing

Being completely honest with myself, I really know nothing yet...

 But its so much fun!

This is a shot I took a while ago - but I still LOVE it!!!

Isn't it so cool? 

{ Maybe it is my desktop background - what of it? }

But what I'm really excited about is what I got to play with on Saturday :) 

My Grandpa Fullmer was always really into photography.  Three of his four sons definitely inherited his genes (and some of his lenses) and my Dad is one of them.  So on Saturday, my dad let me borrow his 50mm 1.4 lens.  Let me just tell you - I am in l.o.v.e. 

People always say that the lens makes all the difference - I believe them now.

It was also special being able to use my Grandpa's (who passed away just a few months ago).  Although I was kinda bummed that the lens doesn't automatically focus on my camera like my dad's because mine is so new... lame... lol but its ok!  Still fun :)  

So to what you all really want to see - the pictures:

They would not smile naturally so I was tickling them haha

I just love how soft the pictures are and how the viewer is drawn into the eyes

{esp. these beautiful, sparkling, blue eyes}

This is definitely the photo of the day - now do you see why I love this lens?

I so hope that I have some genes in me ready to make a little red head girl just like Emma 

I wish I could let you hear Emma's little giggle, because it is like music - so cute!  

But this will just have to suffice for now.

At this point Elizabeth is screaming, "Ehhhhhhhhhhh......MMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Gottah love sisters :)

There's our little model for ya

I'm sorry, I just can't get over how pretty her eyes are!

Such a dork...

I can't believe how much my lil broskie is growin up!  He's a cute kid!

{When we were looking at these pictures on the computer, and we got to this one Rachel said, "Wait, Adam has braces???" haha}

And yes, I was tickling Adam too - I wanted a real smile!

I love Rachel's cute little freckles :) 

Well that's probably enough to bore you to death.  Just wanted to let you all know - I'm starting to get my creative edge on haha

kluvyoubye

I have a confession...

But this confession comes with a resolution, too, 

so don't write me off right off the bat - k?

I have been a bad mother.

I don't even know if this kid is a boy or a girl - and I'm already being irresponsible and selfish.

I'm officially out of my first trimester so really I can't use that as my excuse anymore

{although I still do get nauseated more than I thought I would at this point}

I hadn't realized how bad I've been til this morning when my mom asked me what I had for breakfast 

-- nothing.

Then she {kindly} scolded me for not taking good care of her grand-baby.

It was at that moment that I realized just how bad I really have been.

Here's a little glimpse into my poor nutrition habits lately:

1. As previously mentioned I don't eat breakfast very often.  At first I was pretty good, but toast gets old pretty fast, and protein shakes (as recommended by my doctor) are nasty.  I'm a picky eater too so that makes this whole eat healthy thing even harder.  

2.  My prenatal vitamin container probably hasn't been opened in like a month

*gasp* 

I know you're all really mad and ashamed and I'm so selfish cause the only reason I don't take them is they make me so dang sick and I hate it - but I love this baby more so I'm gonna start taking them again...

promise

3. I usually eat lunch, just because I'm so dang hungry by then, but sadly, it could be healthier. 

The worst of the worst - I had popcorn and skittles for lunch on Monday.  

Yep, call CPS, I don't deserve to be a mom.

4. Exercise.  I could probably just leave it at that, but I'll say a few words.

I started out this pregnancy great! I was like yeah be healthy, exercise! Got some super cool prego work out videos and just dominated it.  

Day 2 of exercise plan - epic fail.  For some reason I just didn't really feel too good that morning, and I was like 6 weeks pregnant so weird! {Heavy sarcasm here people - I'm not that much of an idiot}

Yeah - first trimester symptoms don't really play well into that whole eat healthy and exercise plan. 

So the next few months were kinda scary. 

I think thats like the gist of my really bad habits.

But I mean, it is hard when you have a super-crazed gag reflex that thinks its funny to make you look stupid when you're brushing your teeth, or trying to eat the fish your dad made for his birthday. 

Or just trying to eat plain old chicken breasts that I know aren't your favorite

 - but you need the protein girl!

I really am not that much of a fan of meat - I'll do like a deli turkey sandwich every once in a while {which I'm not even supposed to eat whilst pregnant}, and eat a piece of turkey on thanksgiving; I'll eat half a chicken breast when my dad grills - but meat and I just really aren't friends.  I don't do bacon, sausage, any kind of fish at all and thanks to Mr. Gag Reflex I really don't do hardly any meat at all these days.  Except cheeseburgers - I can almost eat a whole one! 

WOW

Poor baby... and husband.... 

SO -- lets get to the resolution part of this post.  

I'm embarrassed enough by my horrible habits. 

First of all I'm taking my prenatal vitamins.  I hope its not to late, because if we have a baby with

 spina bifida {however you spell it} or anything bad like that, I don't think I'll ever forgive myself. 

I want to cry just thinking about it. 

Next I'm going to eat breakfast - I'm going to the store as soon as I hit "publish post".

I'm going to stock up on produce, and get me some whole grain cereal and its going to be good - ooh and maybe some yogurt too. I love yogurt!

Third, I'm going to try and eat lots of small meals during the day so that I'm not just grazing on these:

{Yes we have this size box in our room...} 

But seriously I love them because nothing calms my stomach like them! 

and lets be real - they are so good!

And these - I don't even know where to start. 

They are the craving of my pregnancy. 

I could (and literally do some days) eat like then of them.

And neither of these two wonderful, heaven sent delicacies are bad in small quantities, 

but I could really cut back a little - lot. 

So we'll work on small healthy meals/snacks every couple of hours

{Like my Aunt Alice-Marie suggested a long time ago}

Fourth, and finally, I'm going to exercise.  Get up before 10:00 each day and work out, eat healthy,

and you know, I don't think baby will be the only one benefiting from this.

I feel healthier and happier just thinking about these great changes!  

So there you go.  Thats my confession.  I'm sorry baby. I hope its not too late, because I love you so much and I can't wait to know you as more than just a little bump :) 

{There really is something in there!}

Also if anyone else is going through this same thing I am, I highly recommend this book

I bought it right after I found out I was pregnant and started reading it today - its actually pretty good! 

kluvyoubye